“The best choices aren’t always easy, but we must make them to reflect the character of Jesus.”
Hebrews 3 says, “When you hear His voice, do not harden your heart.” For a long while, I had the misconception that if and/or when God speaks, there would be a loud, clear voice in which He’d use to communicate His desires. As I spiritually matured and actually began conversing with God on a personal level, I quickly learned that my perceived notion of how God would speak was definitely incorrect, at least in my case. I often find that when God wants to communicate with me, He does so very calmly, through my gut. When God speaks, He speaks directly to my spirit. There is a twitch of anxiety, for lack of a better term, that floats radiantly through my belly. It’s God way of telling me to stop and listen to what He is say, to get into prayer, to connect with Him through the Holy Spirit.
I’ll never forget the night we met. You have your sunglasses on. Vibin’. Dancing. You just knew you were the s-h-i-t. And I knew I wanted you. That physical attraction became a love attraction. You stole my heart. It was completely accidental. Two worlds clashing into one. You “cut off the hoes” for ya boy *insert smirk* You made me feel so special. I wonder if you know how much I admire you. A young, black, successful man. I’m so proud to stand by your side. Our styles complement each other, but more importantly, I believe in you. I believe in all that you can be. I see you the way God sees you and that makes me love you even more.
Creepy, but I watch you as you sleep. Your heavy, grizzly-like breathing does more to me than you can imagine. Especially after I fed you, or we’ve made love… and you gracefully fall asleep. I’m left awake thinking, “Wow. I did that!” I’ve made him happy. When we’re making love and I’m whispering in your ear, “I’ll do anything for you,” it’s not me being caught in the moment; I really would do anything for you. I love you that much. I love you so much it hurts.
It hurts when you can’t express yourself to me. It hurts when we can talk. Last night I thought I would die. I laid crying uncontrollably on the living room floor as you slumbered away in the bed. What can I do to be perfect for him? How can I be better… for him? That’s where the hurt comes in. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.
Fifty years from now I still want to lay on your chest and listen to you breathe. I still want you to fall asleep in my lap after you eat and I’m up watching Criminal Minds or Power or Game of Thrones or whatever show that annoys the shit out of you. I want to wake you up by jumping in the bed every morning and repeating your name over and over just to annoy you. I want to bother you for the rest of my life, because that’s how much I love you.
I can’t picture myself going a day without you. I want to wake up to your morning breath every day… And that doesn’t matter because the minute you flash me that gorgeous smile, I’ll dive right into your mouth for a morning kiss. That’s how much I love you.
I know it hasn’t been easy, but it’s worth it. It’s frustrating, but I’m willing to learn, if you’re willing to teach. I’m willing to teach you how to treat me, but this has to be a two-way street.
All of that concludes with these final thoughts…. If we are honest and trusting with one another, then we will thrive. Baby, I want to be your best friend. I want to know all of your secrets. I want you to tell me all of your fears. Just as you are my Superman, I’ll be your Robin. I’ll always have your back and I’ll never be too far away when you call. That’s how much I love you.
Today was the first time he said it. Those three words that everyone yearns to hear. Those three words that God created the entire universe for. Those three words that Jesus died for us for. Three words that a man would risk it all for. Those three words that changes a life – my life – forever.
It started with a text that stated, “Wish you would take a late lunch and come bang me out.” It’s been over two weeks since I’d seen him due to travel and work. Too long to be away from him. My body yearned to be next to his. The anticipation grew once the gray bubbles appeared toward the bottom left of my phone screen. “I’ll be off at 4. I can come when I get off.” 2:53p. One hour and seven minutes, I thought to myself. I needed to “get ready” and quickly. My eating habits over my vacation break sure as hell didn’t make this an easy task, but I accomplished it. After all, my future husband was about to come and rearrange my furniture. Some preliminary dusting needed to be done, if you catch my drift.
“I’m here.” 4:52p. I was greatful for those precious 52 minutes of extra prep time. And, unknowningly, he’s grateful too. I met him downstairs at the front door. Opening the door felt like opening the door to heaven. The blaze of the sun, or the light of his smile, caused him to radiate with light. He’s the most beautiful structure I’ve ever laid eyes on. In what seemed to be one big motion, I jumped and threw myself around him, embracing his warm, sun-blazed body. He was warm, and that warmth sent a comfort through my body unlike anything I’ve ever felt. “I’ve missed you!” The words poured from my lips before I could even process them. “I’ve missed you, too.” He said, still smiling.” I didn’t want the embrace to end.
We slowly walked upstairs to the room. I proceeded him up the steps and could feel his eyes watching my ass as I made my way up to my bedroom. We got up to the room and he closed the door behind us. I was right in the middle of cleaning the bathroom before he came over, so I quickly finished my chore, washed up, and returned to him. He was sitting on the bed, smiling up at me. My insides turned in anticipation of what I knew he was about to do to me. I leaned over into his face and began to kiss his beautifully sculpted lips – the lips of a god (Cupid maybe). It felt like the first time. I didn’t want the kiss to ever stop.
I could feel like left hand on the back of my right thigh; he was pulling me into him, on top of his lap. I sat in his lap, twisted just enough for my right arm to cradle the back of his head, without interrupting our sweet kiss. It was too good to stop. “I’ve missed you so much, daddy.” I managed to whisper in between the sucking of our lips. “I know, baby. I couldn’t wait for you to return.” My insides continued to churn and dampen.
His pulled me around the waist with his left hand until I was on my back and he was above me. There was a slight pause as he took a moment to lock eyes with me, and then continued to kiss me. I began to moan in excitement. Each and every time with him is like the first time. I removed the towel that had been around my waist from after my shower to expose my naked body. Suddenly, he through my legs above my head and lifted my ass into the air. Face first, he dove right into my cakes. My head instantly leaned back into the pillow that held it up. Those God-like lips French-kissed my hole over and over. I felt like a caterpillar transitioning into a butterfly. There’s no better feeling than being with the one you belong to. I am his. It is his. And he knows it.
He came up and gave me a taste of my own juices, my sweet, divine juices. I pushed him up until he was standing. It was my turn to reciprocate to passion. I leaned down over his eggplant and slowly wrapped my tight, wet lips around him. A soft sigh escaped his open mouth as he allowed his head to fall back. I took sign as a compliment and a challenge. I wanted to hear more sighs and heavy breathing and there was only one way to accomplish that goal. I needed to suck that dick like I was made at it! And that I did. He finally had to stop me to prevent himself from cumming before even getting the cookies.
His hands slowly guided me down on my back. Gently, he pulled my legs back over my head and gave my hole one more tease with his wet tongue before slowly guiding his thick eggplant deep into my hole. Finally, we were one again. Finally, our bodies were connected again. “Damn.” He whispered into my ear. Again, my inner-self was pleased. His pleasure is my pleasure. I am his and his alone.
We started slow. It had been two weeks, and the sensation was overwhelming, for both of us. Gradually, we sped up. Our eyes intently locked into each other’s, reading each other’s minds. We were making magic – love magic. He felt blissful inside me – perfectly in tune with my body, my soul, my heart. “I miss this pussy.” He said, deeply staring into my eyes.
“It misses you too, baby.” I hardly managed to get it out though between my moans. “It’s yours, daddy. It belongs to do.”
“How much do you miss me?” His pounding increased in speed and force.
“I miss you enough to not be away from you ever again.” And I meant every word. Two weeks was entirely too long.
Quickly, he pulled out and turned my over on all fours. “Fuck me like you miss me, baby!”He then pushed himself back inside of me, slapping my ass as he pounded me over and over again. I twisted my chest around to look him in the eyes and kiss him as he dutifully pounded me over and over again. The pleasure was so intense I turned around and laid my chest flat on the bed and let him have his way with me. I started to throw my ass back on him. I wanted more and more of him inside of me. This euphoria should be never-ending.
Again, the intensity became to great for him to handle. He pulled out and flipped me back over to my back. Slowly, he slid back inside of me, using his chest to pin my legs into my chest, his weight settled on top of me. It’s my favorite position. Him in total dominance over me. We locked lips as he continued to dig me out. “I love you. I LOVE you! I LOVE YOU!” Before I knew it, those three words rose out of my soul and into the atmosphere. “I love you, too!” He gracefully, unhesitantly said it back.I released total control of myself to him, in that moment. He said it back! Omg! So many thoughts poured through my head. But they all ended with love.
The excitement of the moment geared us up for a reverberating climax. “I’m bout to nut!” Four words that forever brings pleasure to a bottom. Everytime I hear him say it, I feel like I’ve won the spelling bee. Pleasing one’s man is definitely an accomplishment to be proud of. He pulled out and shot an ooze of fresh baby juice all over my arms and stromach. I was bathing in his love-potion. Shortly after, I came. But even that satisfying climax couldn’t compare to those three words we exchanged to one another. It was our first time. Our precious, first time. And I’ll never forget it.
Regardless of whatever we are to one another, there is a love that exist here, between us now. That love shall combine us forever. In this moment, I cannot stop smiling. I cannot stop reliving our moment. I can’t delete his picture from my mind. I don’t want to.
Hey, Fancy Friends:
I was inspired to write today. I needed a break from everything that’s happening in the world with these senseless killings and such. I deleted all social media apps from my phone for the time being, so you’ll see more from me on my blog until I decide to log back into my social accounts.
I hope you all enjoyed my bed-time story lol.
It’s not about proving others wrong, it’s about proving yourself right. Getting to a place where you recognize God’s vision for your life, accepting it, and doing everything in your power to make that vision your reality.
I just gave my own self a reality check. I have a good friend who told me his plans. Internally, I doubted him. Although I cheered him on, internally, I doubted that he could accomplish the things he was trying to accomplish. I’m happy to report that he’s accomplished his goals.
This was God’s way of checking me. Remove all doubt… not only for ourselves, but others as well. When someone trusts you enough to share their dreams with you, be confident enough to pray for them. Do not doubt the vision God has placed in someone else’s heart. Although we may not understand it, that is completely okay. It is not for us to understand. God has a personal relationship with each and every one of us. Let’s have a #tunnelvision for God’s purpose over our life. Focus. Believe. Work hard. Persevere.
Not going to make this a long post… Just wanted to share what I felt. Transparency is key.
Daniel 10:7 “Now I, Daniel, alone saw the vision, while the men who were with me did not see the vision; nevertheless…”
“Baby Jay!” That’s what she calls me. That’s the beginning of our relationship. When she was introduced to me for the first time, and she held me in her arms, those are the words that came from her lips. And I’ve forever been her “Baby Jay!”
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard thy heart; for out of it flows the issues of life.
God reminded me of this scripture today as I was battling through some emotions earlier within the day. Why did he say, “Above all else?” Of everything else we have to guard, why is the heart esteemed most highly? Because the heart ❤️ is where He lives; it represents all that God is… Love.
What is meant for my harm, God will use for my advantage.
More often than not, we find ourselves in interesting predicaments that life hurls at us… and we wonder, How in the world did I end up here? We begin to self-reflect and wonder what we could have done differently. This is the time when we are most judgmental of ourselves, but it should be when we step back and trust that God is working all things out for our good.
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:1-2).
Hey #FancyFriends! Gosh, it feels like its been forever. So much has happened and I’ve been growing and adapting and changing, but all for the good. Lately, there has been such a void that I know can only be filled by more of God. I’ve made a decision to get to know HIM on a more personal level. I. Am. Changing. (In my Jennifer Hudson voice). Things that used to interest me, now give me a headache to think about. I’m just taking everything more seriously.
I was at a party a couple of Fridays ago, and I truly realized how much I’ve grown. I knew almost everyone there, but I no longer have the desire to associate with most of those individuals anymore. Not because anything has transpired (because it hasn’t), but because our interest are just different. At this point in my life, I can no longer fake the funk. I’m learning what I like and what i love to do; there is no point in doing anything that doesn’t fit into either one of those categories.
I am cut from a different cloth. Not putting myself above anyone else, but I know God has called me for more. My friends and I were at church a couple of weeks ago. The entire service I was crying out for God, internally. At the conclusion of service, there was an alter call. I heard the Holy Spirit whispering to me and telling me to go to the alter. Cast all my cares over to the Lord and leave them at the alter.
At the alter, I continued to hear from the Lord. The preacher looked directly to me and said, “Young man, I don’t know you, but God has great things planned for your life. Stay in His will.” That moment was confirmation of everything God had been speaking with me about.
An issue I have is being inside of my head so much. I am not patient, either. I want everything to happen NOW. I know God has a plan and everything He promised me will be mine. I just have to trust and believe. The pastor confirmed that for me. God has a special way of sending a Word to you, right when it’s needed to let you know that He hasn’t forgotten His promises to you.
There is so much that I’ve been praying about lately. I know He hears me. He is calling me for more and I feel it with everything that’s in me. I was created for more than a mediocre life.
I want to thank God for bringing all of the right people into my life, for bringing all of my hopes and dreams to pass, for flourishing my friends and family, for going ahead of me and making crooked places straight, for being Everything that He said He’d be for me and to me. I love Him for that.
My prayer for us all is that we become everything God has made us to be.
Be well, my friends.
“One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple… My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, Lord, I will seek” (Psalm 27:4, 8).
Hey Fancy Friends, Meet MATT DAVIS!!! This Huntington Beach native has one of the best voices around. He’s easy on the eyes and his voice is like butter. Ooooh! I instantly fell in love with him after listening to his original song “Need You” from his upcoming EP The Writing Room. Take a listen and let’s discuss.