I began praying for marriage and legacy over three years before God brought that prayer to fruition. Something in my spirit always knew I would marry at the age of 30. If you’re familiar with my blog or my books, then you’ve seen me write about my trials and troubles and my spiritual growth over the past three years since returning to Houston. What I am realizing now, is that God was preparing me to receive what I had been praying for.
God had to prepare me.
In order to be in a position to receive my husband, there were some ways, some habits, and some people God had to purge from my life before I was completely ready for marriage.
In that three year period of time, God separated me from particular people I was heavily invested in. Some were friends, others were lovers who weren’t to be a part of my destiny. Although this process was painful, it was necessary. In this isolation, God was able to speak to me clearly without me having any distractions. He was able to guide me further and deeper into my purpose. He was able to bring me back from the brink of suicide and restore me and mold me into the man He’s always wanted me to be.
In this isolation, He was able to propel me further in my career, in my ministry, and in my relationships with my family, my true friends, and most importantly, the relationship with myself. In isolation I found peace and passion. God used this time to teach me very valuable lessons about love and I was able to gain a clear vision of what I needed in companionship. This is very important for anyone who desires marriage.
I met my husband at a time I was involved with someone else. Deep down, I knew he belonged to me, but this was during my season of isolation. I was not ready for marriage at the time we me, but God made the connection between us to start the process of us building a relationship, a true friendship.
Reflection back on our love story and how we met, I can truly say that God’s ways are not our ways; His thoughts are not our thoughts. He’d brought my husband into my life at a time when He hadn’t completely finished purging me, yet he hide him in plain sight.
What’s funny about God is that He doesn’t change. His strategies are always familiar, yet highly effective. I think of King David. Before he was a king, he was a shepherd boy. Of all his brothers, he was ignored the most, treated as a family slave as he tended to the fields. Yet, in his isolation, God prepares him his true destiny – to defeat the giant Goliath and go on to be King. People counted him out, his family and even himself.
Like David, during my period of isolation, there were times I became discouraged. I was afraid God wouldn’t answer my prayers. I was afraid that I’d missed my opportunity for marriage. But God had another plan. He was hiding and preparing me until the timing was right.
God knows better than anyone the path for your life. I am grateful that I never settled for anything or anyone less than what God truly desired for me.
Speaking very transparently, I was in love with the last person I was with before my husband. We had a great relationship, a great friendship, and we were good to one another. But I now know that that was my final test. Several times over the course of that relationship, God spoke very clearly to me and told me that this person wasn’t who He intended for me. After some time of hesitance, I honored the voice of the Lord and broke things off.
What’s even more mind blowing is that for the past twelve months, God has consistently dealt with me in the area of obedience. He tested me over and over and over in this area. After that final test, I was ready to receive the husband God ordained for me.
It all made sense why it never worked with anyone else. It all makes sense why God had to isolate me and purge me of people and bad habits. It all makes sense to me now. And I am eternally grateful for such a blessing.
Marriage is indescribable. The heightened feeling of love. The indescribable pleasure that comes with making love (it has an entire new meaning and connotation under marriage). The sense of protection one feels for their partners. The way spouses can read one another’s minds. I could go on and on. Instantly, marriage makes one a better person.
If marriage is your desire, begin to pray daily for it. Be prepared for God to purge you. You’re process may be different than mine, but I can guarantee you that the process will be transformative. It’s the most rewarding experience when done right.