I’m an obsessive compulsive dater. There… I said it!!! Blame it on my age and the feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me that if I do not meet “The One” soon, then I’ll grow old and lonely.
Okay, so my opening statement isn’t really true. I’m not an obsessive compulsive dater, but I am an obsessive compulsive lover. To be transparent, I put myself on a time limit that is quickly expiring. “30!” I told myself. “By 30, I’ll have the house, the lover, the kids; I’ll live happily ever after.” I can just laugh at myself for selling my own self a dream, knowing that that dream is full of “what if’s” and broken promises.
I’ve been hurt. But I can’t help but wonder how much of that hurt I’ve brought on myself. I’ve spent the last years of my dating life going above and beyond to make others happy, all the while sacrificing my sanity, my beliefs, and my dreams. Why? Because 30!!! Damn 30 was approaching, and I have a deadline.
What I’ve realized is that I can’t force this. I can’t know all of the answers. Regardless of my personal deadline, I cannot control if and when I meet my true love.
What I am coming to realize is that when the right one comes, he will come. Therefore, I cannot sacrifice any part of myself to make this happen any sooner.
So, what does dating in my (almost) 30s mean going forward? It means…
- I, first, my date a man who loves God more than anything.
- A guy who exhibits traits of being a good father.
- A guy who loves me and treats me like God does.
- Just the right amount of emotional.
- But fearless.
Short, yet loaded list. This list means I do not have time to waste on anyone who doesn’t meet me at the level of my expectations.
***This is a completely pointless post and irrelevant to this blog’s normal content. I just needed someone/thing to talk to.***