“Hurt people hurt people.” At least that what “they” say. Recently, I was hurt. And not to even go into the specifics of the situations, because -at this point- they do not even matter. I remember asking the person who hurt me, “Why did you choose to make the choices you made?” I asked because I genuinely wanted to know. How could anyone hurt someone he or she claims to love? How could anyone continuously exhibit behavior that is detrimental to the mental and physical state of someone who they claim lives in their heart? It did not/has not registered with me still.
I felt like my healing was contingent upon him telling me why he hurt me. I needed to understand his reasoning in order to begin healing my broken heart, my tainted spirit. As I thought about it, I realized that maybe he didn’t even know the answer to that question. He didn’t know why he hurt me over and over. He didn’t know why he inflicted so much pain on me. But I had a revelation… What I’ve learned is that they saying is true, “Hurt people hurt people.” When someone has nothing, that can cause a lot of anger. When they are spiritually decrepit, financially decrepit, emotionally decrepit, morally decrepit, and physically decrepit, they tend to hurt people because it makes them feel better.
Once I realized that he couldn’t answer the question I posed, I realized I had a tough decision to make. I could continue to soak in the hurt and pain he caused me, or I could turn to God and allow him to do the healing I so desperately need. I chose God. I had to get to a place to where he just doesn’t matter. My sanity and my healing can not be based on anything involving him. I had to decide that I would never get back to a place so low. I had to remember who -excuse my french – THE FUCK I AM.
“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never exited. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” – Michelle Williams. I read that quote this morning and it did so much for me. Thank you, Jesus. When we are in bad situations, it’s hard to see our way out of it. Sometimes, God has to remove you from a thing and when you get a chance to look back, you say,”Wow. That was never my destiny. That was never my purpose.”
So what happens next? For anyone who is healing from hurt – whatever that hurt may be – stay focused on yourself. It’s okay to be selfish in these moments. Keep your eyes on God. Allow him to mend you broken places. Whomever or whatever hurt you is on it’s on path. Trust that everything comes full circle and there is a blessing in every lesson.
Be strong, Fancy Friends.
Thanks to everyone who has show concern for my well-being in the past recent weeks. I am okay and back on the right path.