Twelve months ago I moved from Houston to Los Angeles. I remember the morning I left Houston, and as I was driving down interstate 10 going West, I began to cry (never told anyone that). I was leaving a place that I’d called home for the past four years. Leaving a place that my family roots (mom’s side) are connected to. I was leaving a place where I had been transformed from a fragile little boy into a grown, college-educated, successful young man.
Houston was my first experience of being a man. I was on my own -my parents lived in Arkansas- and doing everything for myself. It was tough, but I did it. Over those four years, I’d met so many friends, personally and professionally, I’d loved harder and laughed even harder. I cried and smiled and made long-lasting memories. Houston was (is) my home… and I was leaving. No wonder I was crying. Not to mention that I was leaving my church, Lakewood, that had helped grow me so much spiritually in the years that I had attended.
Instead of listening to my heart, I pressed into the gas pedal of my BMW and kept forward all the way across i10 until I reached the great city of Los Angeles, California.
Now California Living has really been a dream… But as I reflect back over the past twelve months, I had to ask myself, “Who’s dream is this?” It definitely isn’t mine. Now don’t get me wrong, L.A. is wonderful. The weather alone is enough for anyone in their right mind to pack up and move here; especially after coming from some place as hot and HUMID as Houston. The beaches are clean and beautiful. The people are beautiful. I swear L.A. has its own sun because the normal sun in any other city doesn’t make your skin glow the way that L.A. sun does. It’s magical.
In addition to all of that, I’ve met some extremely talented individuals, who I now have the pleasure of calling friend. I’ve partied with the best celebrities and in some of the best clubs. I’ve bumped into the most famous people at the gym, in the grocery store, and at the local shopping centers. All good right?
“You got made out there in Cali.” “I see you doing big things!” “Man, keep getting your shine on!” These are the text and chats that I get from friends and family. They make me smile but there is a shallowness to it all. Mr. Fancy is more than the glitz and glam. Of course, it is embedded in who I am as a person, but there is so much more to me. Within the past twelve months I lost my inspiration, my fire; I need to get that back.
There is more to me than taking cute picture and wearing nice clothes and hanging out with “Instagram famous” people. It’s fun and cute and will get you “likes” on a picture, but there is so much more to life. I said that to say this, I felt empty and incomplete being here. My only goal was to come here and meet publishers so that I could get my current and future books more recognition. Nothing else. Somehow, somewhere, I got distracted by the camera flashes and the alcohol. I lost my purpose.
I refuse to be like so many other individuals that I see around L.A. with these self-imposed titles of singer, dancer, choreographer, comedian, etc. You give yourself the title, but what are you doing to achieve it? Nothing. You spending your time working two or three jobs just to live in this expensive ass city. You spend your free time in the clubs. I cannot express the sadness it gives me to see people losing sight of their dreams and they don’t even realize it. They get too caught up in surviving that they forget to live. They forget their purpose.
That could have been me. But I recognized the issue and I am correcting it. For those who do not know, I’ve decided to move back home to Houston. My heart is there. My focus is there. I am at my best there. I’ve realized that I do not have to be in Los Angeles to be a successful writer. I have the access to everything I need in Houston.
When certain people found out, the first question is, “Why?” My response is simple. “Because.” My journey is not your journey and my dream isn’t your dream. I have a destiny to fulfill and I am not getting sidetracked by anything. When it came down to the pros and cons of my staying in Los Angeles, the only things that came to my mind where the parties and the celebrities. Neither are good enough reasons for me. These celebrities are fulfilling their purposes. They are RICH and could care less about anyone else.
My thoughts have transcended beyond that state of being. I have to live for me. I want a home. I want a husband. I want a son. I want my successful writing career. I want my businesses to be successful. I want to give back to my church and my communities. I want to travel the world and so much more. And I WILL do it all.
Anyone who knows me can speak to the fact that I love to travel. Houston is home but I can definitely see myself living in NYC, Miami, and even back in LA (after I reach a certain level of success). The journey is only beginning. There are so many things that are in the works and I am ready for the world to see and it will see, very soon.
The great thing about my career is that I can do my job from anywhere. The field of Education will always allow me to work whenever and wherever I choose. I’m blessed to say that I have the freedom to do that.
#FancyFriends, Thanks for reading. I’ll be back in Houston VERY soon and I hope to see all of my friends and family. It’s go time!
P.S. I wrote this blog because I’m bored at work AND also because I know a lot of people will be asking and I hate repeating myself so I will just direct them here 🙂 And this way, I get to control MY story and not the spectators.