I wrote a new piece that I will share with my students in the “Conscious Poetry” class that I am teaching next week. Anytime that I write, I have to place myself in an emotion or time period to truly evoke every feeling that I feel like I should feel or did feel during that moment. When I woke up (at 2:20am) this morning, I was inspired to write about when I was twelve years old. I was in the 7th grade and I was sad. That year was the beginning of my very lengthy depression. I really had to place my mind back in that era to write this and I cried and cried as I wrote it. This is really a reflection piece. My viewpoints of God and my parents have drastically changed since that age and this by no way depicts how either of them feel about me in the present. Any, if any twelve year old happens to read this who is struggling with sexuality or identity, please realize that God loves you and that you should love yourself. Be who you are. Without further adieu.
I had a moment last night after I allowed someone to treat me a particular way that wasn’t how I like to be treated. It brought me to a really bad space in my mind. Like, I really became sad after the incident happened. The funny thing is, I don’t even think the person did it intentionally, but it still happened.
I think we feel in love by accident
It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did
We were doomed from the start
But I kept on loving you anyway
We almost ruined one another
Broken promises and all of the lies
Lying to protect each other from the hurt
But ultimately hurting anyway
Drowned in the misery of our own selfishness
Too prideful to realize what was most important
Which was why we fell in love in the first place
Why I thought and think you are the most beautiful human being
Can we forget the past?
We’ve forgiven, but can we forget the pain and the betrayal?
Can we move forward in love?
Will you love me flaws and all?
Regardless of our past mistakes
Let’s put our pride to the side
Let’s love, let’s live, let’s be great
Justin J. White
Hey, Fancy Friends! I’m coming with some brief words of encouragement tonight. So, all of last week I had a friend in town from NYC. It was so good to see him. Every time we link up, we speak about the positive things we have going on and encourage one another. It was great to be around like-minded people.
I was having dinner last evening with a good friend who happens to be a Stylist / Style Director for a magazine. We were conversing about many things, but during the conversation we spoke about how sometime we let a paycheck come before our passion for doing what we love. So it gets to a point to where you ask yourself, is this paycheck (my livelihood) more important than my dreams? Is being financially stable more important than doing what makes me happy?
I was on one of my nightly twitter rants
discussing venting about the last relationship that I was in while I was in Houston. And part of my frustration is that we never had closure. I spoke with “him” today. It was hard; it’s always hard. I never got over him. This was the one time that I actually fought falling in love; he kind of stole my heart. And I don’t really think he even tried to. But it happened. But to this day, I still love him and would do anything for him.
Episode 3 of “The Mr. Fancy Show”, I mean “Tha Life: Houston” debuted today via YouTube. I’m going to take a different approach and write as a viewer, and not a cast member. I must say that I am happy to finally get a chance to get to know the cast members personally. This episodes digs a little deeper into the personal lives of the characters and makes the cast more relatable. What more could we ask for?
Hey again, Fancy Friends. I hope everyone has been well since the last blog. Today’s message is about purpose. Purpose is one thing we all have in common, because each and every last one of us have one.