Yesterday, I had a conversation yesterday with my coworker about dating and relationships. She stated how crucial she feels the 1st three months of dating are. She expressed how that feeling of excitement that two people have toward one another in the beginning is important… Those googly eyes, the way your heart beats when you’re around them, how you want to tell them your entire life story, obsessing over that person, wanting to talk on the phone with them all day and night, etc.
I immediately felt a way because I initially felt robbed of those things with the current person I’m talking to. He said that he wanted to take things slow. I agreed. This was a first for me and I really didn’t understand what I was getting myself into.
She went on to say how she didn’t see the glow about me that I had when I was with my ex. How I would come to work happy and lit up because I would think about him all day. She talked about how he would surprise me at work by popping up, or bringing us lunch, or sending me flowers. The more she talked the more I felt bad… because I’ve missed those things.
When I made it home last night I began to think. Am I really missing out? Yes, I missed those initial butterflies in my stomach and no, I don’t get frequent pop-ups at my jobs, or surprises, etc… but I am getting to genuinely know this person for who he is before jumping into a relationship. My ex and I, thought it started good, ended our relationship on a very negative note. Although, we are friends today, it took us a long while to get back on speaking terms.
What I am saying is this… I would rather get to know this guy on a personal level first. That way when the time comes for us to advance into a relationship, I can consciously make an informed decision because by that time I will know him inside and out. Or, I can decide to walk away from him knowing that BECAUSE I KNOW HIM we may not mesh very well in a relationship.
If later we decide to get into a relationship, then we can let the fun begin. The things that I’ve grown accustomed to can still happen in the future. The lunches, surprises, road trips, etc. The butterflies can still happen. I can still have my happen ending.
If I do this right, I’ll have a lifetime of building memories and feeling excited with him. Dating someone shouldn’t stop once your commitment, relationship, or marriage starts… it should continue throughout the duration of the partnership. Keep it fresh and new.
What are your thoughts?