To anyone who reads this,
In any relationship (friendship, companionship, partnership, business relationship, or “Talking” to someone), communication is important. Miscommunication is the worst thing that can happen to any relationship. Why? Because miscommunication leads to misunderstanding; which, in turn, leads to a plethora of other problems. What I’ve learned in my (almost) 26 years of living is to say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. Be respectful, but don’t be a pushover.
My last intimate relationship taught me Time-Value (#PBS) and the value of self-worth. I’ll say this without saying a lot… “Don’t let anyone make your feel sub-par or like you’re not worth much! Regardless of your education, employment status, status at the bank, or your social status, you are priceless. Once you realize that, you tend to put up with less bullshit from other individuals. You learn how you want others to treat you… So, you begin not letting people talk to you in certain ways, not allowing people to treat you certain ways, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, not allowing others to make you FEEL any way that is unacceptable to you.
Recently, very recently, I was “talking” to this guy; a very good guy. We talked and dated for a little over a month and we never had sex. Great, right? He was the first guy I waited for; and it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. I thought that by waiting to have sex that I would be able to control my emotions; that I wouldn’t be so emotionally invested in the situation as I normally would be. However; to my surprise, I developed some pretty intense feelings for this guy.
However, towards the end of our “talking” period, things changed. I didn’t feel as if we were on the same page anymore. He had recently suffered a loss of someone he loved (an ex) and deep inside I felt like that was holding him back. I, too, was under a lot of stress from work, my business ventures, and my personal life. So I think those things cause an emotional disconnect between us. Additionally, I felt as if he didn’t know how to properly or effectively communicate his feelings. His preferred method of communication was text message. Therefore, we had a few misunderstandings.
Anyway, Time-Value is important to me. Within that short time of talking, I realized that the timing was off. There was no point of lingering around to see if things would eventually work out. Ultimately that would cause stress, on both ends. So I made the decision to end our dating relationship and just settle for a friendship. Like I said, we’re both great guys; but just because people are great individually, doesn’t mean they are great together.
What I would like to know is… at what point should you recognize that a relationship (friends, business, “talking”, or even family) is not working and end it? Is there a time limit on these types of things?